I was on MARS! I couldn't believe my eyes I was actually on Mars. I thought to myself wait how am I on this planet millions of miles from home. There is no oxygen, that thought made me think really hard I had all these different thoughts running though my mind? Maybe I should slap myself to see if I was not dreaming, I got scared for a moment because I saw something but I dont now if my mind is playing tricks on me or not. I start to explore mars a bit and you will never guess what I found...
A skull of what looked like an ALIEN my mind was blown, I picked the skull up started shouting to see if an alien would come out. Believe it or not a small alien came out of nowhere the alien took my hand and started running I asked the alien where are you taking me? I got no reply so I kept on following it and guess where the alien took me.
The alien told me to close my eyes so I did, then the humanoid told me to open my eyes and when I did I saw this shimmering UFO I couldn't believe what I was looking at there was an actual UFO in front of me. I asked the alien his name and this was his reply my name is...Jeffry I know pretty boring name, Jeffry then asked me do you want a ride home? yes I said I would love a ride home. so we jumped in his intergalactic space cruiser and at the speed of light we departed Jeffry's home world of Mars bearing towards Earth. It took at least 4 years so what it felt like it but really I had only taken 3-4 hours.
When I arrived back to Earth I thanked the alien known as Jeffry, otherwise I would have been stuck there forever. I say my last goodbye to Jeffry And got back to the park I was at and ran to my mother and gave her a big hug I said to her did you miss me and she replied what you were in bed are you feeling okay? Yeah im fine why did you ask I was just wondering she said. Can we go to the park I asked sure lets go.
When we arrived at the park I saw the ride I went on to go to mars I said to my mum I went on that and it took me to Mars and then I found an alien and it took me back to earth, When did that happen said Mum? in my dream I said my Mum replied with maybe we shouldn't go on that then because on mars you cant breathe. But I can breathe on mars I said in an angry voice okay, okay lets just go home for now said mum okay I said
we left the park and we went home and baked some cookies. The End
we left the park and we went home and baked some cookies. The End
Hi Mayci. What a fabulous short story you have written. You painted a great picture in my head of yourself and the Alien Jeffry on the planet Mars together. Always remember to check you writing and look for where you can add punctuation, such as speech marks and full stops. Keep up the great work.
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DeleteKia ora Mayci,
ReplyDeleteWell done on writing a really great short story. I like the way you created anticipation in the introduction, it's a great hook to keep the reader engaged. I would be terrified if I landed on Mars! Next time, you could describe what Jeffry the alien looks like?
From Miss Ribotton
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